Oct 6 - A Family’s Story
Story submitted Monday, August 3, 2009 – 13:36
A Family’s story
My husband, Kevin, and I married in our early twenties. We knew we would have kids one day but we wanted to enjoy our youth before starting a family. As our thirties loomed on the horizon we decided to have a baby. We assumed because we were ready that it would happen right away. Five long, painful years and many doctors later we were very discouraged. Fertility treatments were not working. It took a toll both mentally and physically. So we stopped. Ever so slowly we started to consider adoption. A co-worker of my father’s adopted a baby from Korea and that broke the ice for our conversation. I also have several family members that are adopted so we began to view adoption as our path to a family. The day we abandoned fertility treatments and focused on adopting a baby was a day filled with hope. A baby became a “when” not an “if”.
The Social worker that we worked with at our fertility center actually led us to Act of Love. The first meeting with “AOL” was so comforting we knew we had made the right decision. Of course the process of becoming adoptive parents was stressful. There was so much more to the process than we ever imagined. Yet each time we made an appointment or filled out a form we felt we were actively working towards a family instead of waiting in a doctor’s office waiting room. We expected to wait for “the call” for up to a year so when that call came just 3 months after we finished our home study we were…overwhelmed! We hopped in our car with a car seat, some clothes and a lot of butterflies in our bellies. Patty Brady was our Social worker and Mary Murphy was our birth parent coordinator. We depended on them so much. No matter how much you prepare your mind goes blank when they place the baby in your arms and then ask how the hospital bills are going to be paid. We spent three weeks in North Carolina. The first two weeks were waiting for our son to be born and the last week we spent all together in a hotel room waiting for the paperwork to hit the proper desks. What an adventure it was. Act of Love was our lifeline to home. Mary and Patty will forever be very special people in our lives. We had so many questions and they were always just a phone call away.
Since our son was born our lives have changed in so many wonderful ways. First and foremost, we are a family now, not just a couple. Jason was welcomed into our family with open arms. I think that because we traveled across the Eastern seaboard with a seven day old baby we learned that kids are easier if you don’t sweat the small stuff. We made a promise to his birth parents that we would give him a wonderful life, and a wonderful life he has. We embrace life as an adventure. We treasure the little joys, like a loose tooth, because we struggled so long to see it. We are so proud of the fact that he is adopted because we know how hard we fought to bring him home. Adoption is just taking the scenic route. It takes a little longer to get there but the journey seems that much sweeter when you reach your destination.
If you are reading this and are considering adoption through Act of Love know this…the staff is wonderful and you never feel like this is “just a job” to them. The process could be long and you may still suffer heartache but that is true in pregnancy too. Adoption is never second best, not a last resort. We are Jason’s parents because we kissed the boo boos, we got up at 3:00 a.m. to feed him, we chased the monsters from under the bed. I will never forget what my cousin, who is adopted also, told me. Growing up she was sometimes teased about being adopted. Her answer was “my parents chose to get me, yours HAD to take you”. That sums it up for me.